Miles to go before I sleep..

Let me start this post by saying – It has taken in-numerous attempts to get to a point in life where I can finally say that I’m actively focusing on getting fit.

For someone who isn’t very disciplined about food (cos I’m a foodie!) or health (cos I’m still young!) it took the company of friends (to kickstart an exercise routine), family (I’m married into a family that is very positively health focused) and a lot of enthusiasm and motivation (from within).

Today I ran 2.25 miles at a more or less steady speed of 4mph in 33 mins.
While it’s really not an achievement to write home about.. It is a milestone for me, and I’m mighty proud of it.

Will celebrate tomorrow with another run – hopefully a 2.5 mile run at 4.5mph in under 30 mins 😉

Oh and.. Here’s the view where I run!

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Watching…

The newness of everything should have been engaging. But it isn’t so.
Yes it snowed throughout the first 2 months. At first, I loved it. 
For the first time I was experiencing a prolonged period of boredom.
I started watching stuff. It didn’t bore me. 
I watched people running to get somewhere.
I watched the snow slowly swaying in the air till it melted on a black jacket.
I watched white fluff enveloping everything like someone pushed down on a giant can of white frosting.
I ate different kinds of food, relishing some, disliking others.
I watched my weight remain a constant which did draw out an emotion from me – Anger.
I craved for the sun. The novelty of snowy, wet days made me ache for warmth.
I watched into windows and then into walls.
I stared into space.
I fell silent.
The chores at home feel burdensome. Eating feels like a task; “too much effort” a voice mumbles inside my head. Let alone dishes and laundry.
Gadgets, books, pencils, charcoal – nothing seems to change it.
Its disturbing. To watch yourself do nothing. To feel yourself feeling nothing.
My body refuses to move. I could lie in bed and not wake up. 
Maybe I’d feel nothing, just the same as when I’m awake.
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Halfway around the earth!

In chronological order, my life changed like this.

August was the harbinger of good news.
He had been transferred.
To New York.

September made us wait with bated breath.
The visas were expected.
They didn’t come.
They needed to be filed in a different category.

October brought much work.
Refiling the application.
This time, we were rewarded with a shiny page on the passport.
Permission to enter the United States!

November saw planning.
Lists of things.
To buy, to sell, to send, to give, to discard.

December – the day was soon arriving.
Packing, packing and more packing!
Some shopping.

When the day finally came, New York was experiencing a snow apocalypse.
Phone calls, emails & canceled flights deflated our enthusiasm.
Some more phone calls and emails later, we were on our way.
Farewells were exchanged with friends & family.

December 30th – 11:35 am Eastern Time. New York greeted us with a sunny smile.

🙂

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coffee?

On a cold night in December well-past midnight as we sit outside in our balcony, frothy cold coffee and a chill in the air are a perfect pause to listen to the sound of the breeze that spells the coming of the new year!

The last 3 days & nights have blended into each other as they’ve been spent lazing around – eating, drinking and making merry! how wonderfully refreshing it feels to do absolutely nothing… to wake up with nothing on your mind, no work to be done, just waking up to a new day!

The maid is on leave. And the house manages to take care of itself. No food is prepared in advance. We eat what we find or make what we feel like. We eat smelly blue cheese or feta with bread and canned kidney beans.We share a pint or two when we feel like it.

We buy half a kg cake – a decadent one called ‘Death by chocolate’ last night. We buy 2 more cakes – a simple sponge cake and the other one is orange. I make milkshakes with cake and chocochip cookies or banana milkshakes or simply cold coffee.

We take naps whenever we’re sleepy, the day begins afresh whenever we awaken whether its 12 in the afternoon or 7 in the evening. This is probably the best ‘vacation-time’ we’ve had in a while, he says!

This year will end on a very pleasant note! That of being decadent, lazy, romantic and slightly tipsy with some jazz for the perfect blend!

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We are a confused species

As oxymoronic as it may sound to the profession I have chosen for myself, I have come to accept at some level; the profound truth that…

Human beings are a fundamentally dysfunctional species of beings.
 
Trying to stabilize them results in a number of undesirable behaviors. As I was sitting and listening to the story of Woody Allen’s Vicky Christina Barcelona, lots of different tangents led me in many different directions but were overall connected by this central thought that seemed to get validated once every tangent was analysed!

Lets take for example, the broad and mostly well-accepted categorization of people into two groups:

The quirky-weird ones v/s the normal ones
The idealist-philosophical-intellectual types v/s the realists
The non-conformists v/s the conformists
The creative-artist types v/s the logical types

If you carefully analyse these categories, you will be able to extrapolate the basic characteristic traits of the two categories of people. On the basis of this categorization and the traits that follow them, it is safe to assume that the first kind of people –
quirky-weird, idealist-philosophical-intellectual, non-conformists & creative-artist types will share a range of characteristic traits that I’m not gonna bother explaining (If you don’t already know that, this blog isn’t for you!)

One of their basic characteristics is that almost all of them have unstable lives as far as relationships are concerned.
Thinkers, painters, philosophers, artists, writers, actors, musicians!
An explanation for their quirkiness, creativity, intellect, philosophical thoughts, non-conformism, etc. is that the more volatile our relationships with people, the more stimulus the volatility provides. As a species that thinks, (remember Descartes saying ‘I think, therefore I am’) it is essential for us to remain in a conducive environment that allows thought. (ramblings, rants, ponderings, realisations, introspection, retrospection, etcetera etcetera…) This is possible only when something goes wrong! When something goes right, what do you do with it? Nothing! But when something goes wrong, you think! And unfortunately, we cannot have one without the other. Theoretically therefore, Stability – a trait that the latter category of people share is therefore NOT conducive for exponential thought processing!

We all want something exciting in our lives, we yearn for idealism – be it love or money!
We yearn for passion, creativity, philosophical explanations that validate our presence on this earth!
When we are exposed to instances in our life that provide the above, & do not last too long – they are cherished and we want more of them.

So, theoretically speaking, if we were to live like that throughout our lives, we wouldn’t have much to complain about. However, a series of such instances would make it difficult for us to live normally.

In practicality, we lack the ability sustain an unstable life that would provide a conducive environment for the passion, creativity, intellectual and philosophical thought, etc.
So, we try and outsmart nature! We try to find a balance between the two – the ideal and the real!
Now… time is a wonderful thing. Just like water finds its own level in time, relationships also find their own stability! Even the most active volcano cools down over time. And there is a period of rest before the next eruption. All relationships in time, tend to become still (or boring) Time however, can make still waters swell up and form waves.

Thus proving, we are all essentially dysfunctional. And THAT is what makes life interesting!

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Growing old is a dislikeable thought!

When life throws at you not a single but many instances to ponder over, what do you do with those ramblings inside of your head? especially when the ramblings start to make sense and you see hazy images transforming into a clear picture concluding in a realisation.

Many such instances and many such ponderings have led to the following realisation:

Age is inversely proportionate to the number of errors one is allowed to commit.
OR
Age and number of errors share an inversely proportionate relationship with each other.

In other words, as the candles on your cake increase, the wrongs in your life should decrease!

When I was 18, I used to be told I looked older… much older! I never had a problem with it. Infact, come to think of it, it gave me an edge over others, professionaly atleast! However, now that I am older than 18 and look my age (finally) the idea of growing old has begun to scare me. And ironically, it has nothing to do with looks!

The phrase ‘growing old’ states indirectly that one ought to ‘grow wise’ and that one would make ‘lesser mistakes’ It seems to me as if these are expectations that we have of ourselves and of others and expectations that others have of us. The idea of growing old brings with it these unsaid ‘rules’ & taking responsibility for one’s follies is difficult.

The older you are, the wiser you are expected to be; the lesser mistakes you are expected to commit, &; the more you are shunned for needing someone to tell you “its okay”

I miss being told its okay! I miss having the freedom to make mistakes and learn from them. I miss not having as much time to try again when I do make a mistake. 
And worst of all, I dislike having the knowledge that they’re bound to happen, at some point in time.

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College Project

I never imagined I would write about college AGAIN! atleast not about while being IN IT!
🙁 No, it isn’t the best feeling! No, I’m not enjoying it!
So stop asking me those questions!

The education system SUX! but i love sitting in those lectures and listening to the lectures! So much about Psychology that I love.. sigh!

Anyway! here’s why I wrote this post.

I need help!
I’m jus copy pasting a note I wrote to some ppl on my gmail list.
If you’ve been directed here, thanks for reading.. I’m hoping you’ll b able to help me. or direct someone here who CAN help me!
If you’ve stumbled here, even so.. read the following and see if you can help me..

Thanks a lot!

SK
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Hi,

As you know, I have gone back to studying and I’m currently pursuing a double graduation – this time in Psychology; I would like to ask of your help. As part of the TYBA course, each student has to conduct a research based project in Industrial Psychology.

My topic of interest is Herzberg’s two factor theory also known as the Motivation-Hygiene Theory.
Check this for a simple explanation of the theory. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two_factor_theory

I am currently scanning the web in order to develop a checklist of the factors (that are distinct from each other) affecting satisfaction & dissatisfaction in employees as is theorized by Herzberg. In continuation to the research, I will be drafting a checklist suitable for a specific industry (pharmaceutical in my case) and designing a questionnaire or survey or using the interview method in order to (hopefully) prove/accept Herzberg’s theory.

I’ve written all of the above in order to request you to help me with the factors that I could add in the checklist.
If you have any refernece material on Herzberg’s theory and are willing to share it with me, I would be very grateful and will most certainly cite it and will remember to acknowledge you.

If you think you can add your two bits to my the checklist, please feel free to mail them to me on this email address.

Meanwhile, I would be as grateful if you could forward this email to those you think may be able to help me.

Thanks & Warm Rgds,

Suman Kalra.

————————————-
Certified Trainer in
Neuro-liguistic Programming
Ceritifed Handwriting Analyst
Certified Hypnotist
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And I cried for the doom of mankind

I am enraged.. shaking and shivering.. out of anger…

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What do you do when your rickshaw bumps into a biker with a passenger and breaks his petrol tank so that it starts dripping from the bottom?

What do you do when the biker and the passenger get off and whack your rickshaw driver six times one after the other smack on his face?

What do you do when you realize that the bikers are educated and you know that they will go away after they’ve vented their anger and their testosterone levels dip and will feel much better showing off their strength and masculinity because they managed to spank the guy into numbness?

What do you do on realizing that you can’t watch this way and you get off and tell them to stop behaving like idiots, that this is not going to solve the problem?

What do you do when you finally intervene and tell them to stop acting like uneducated fucking fools on the top of your lungs out of sheer anger and frustration?

What do you do when other bikers, other rickshaw drivers and spectators who were on their own way only seconds ago have decided to stop by and intervene and tell YOU to stay put inside the rickshaw or leave because its none of your business?

What do you do when you’ve been trying to beat sense into two 30 year old men that this is not how you deal with a problem?

What do you do when they tell you this is the only way to solve the problem?

भेन्चोद, मादरचोद, गांडू, साले, चूतिये, हरामखोर, भोसड़ी केऔर गाली दो उसकोचार थप्पड़ और मारो उसकोतब जा के प्रोब्लम सॉल्व होगा…”

After 15 minutes of my intervention, of shouting and yelling and trying to make people understand…
that’s what I did….!

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