Black Marigolds

It starts as an innocent thought, soon growing into conflicting thoughts.
Its a fight against myself!
These overwhelming twists and turns of my thoughts.
I can hear them inside my mind.
They sound like jazz. drums beating and a trumpet playing.
Crawling and creeping into the recesses deep within, they were buried in darkness, never to see light.
And yet here they are, playing havoc with my mind.
Like sparks on trees struck with lightning!
The double bass plays on heightening this heat..
This crawling heat.. under my skin is fighting with the nip in the air.
Its a battle – a battle of thoughts, it refuses to subside!

Cold breaths mingled with fear grip my throat and leave me unable to speak.
The keys of the piano play in quick succession
It takes all my strength to abandon them. bury them again in the recesses of my mind.
Bury them deep and wish them dead. but when I sleep, they loom like ghosts in the darkness inside.
Like the sound of a saxophone.
Slowly awakening from slumber and crawling again with measured pace.
This building pandemonium will tear me apart.

This fire from the sparks will burn my heart.
Like a song rising to a crescendo
Like the end of a dark poem
Written for the wake of a dying man
It physically hurts to be rendered helpless,
Unable to do a thing.
Waiting, hoping but not knowing
what I wait and hope for.
A sigh of relief leaves me as these thoughts pass by.
These thoughts, these nagging thoughts in my head
Like a song on loop, playing in the background somewhere.
Ignored, yet trying hard to be heard.
Staying in the periphery,
but making its presence felt.

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